Dreams

It's 6:30am on a Saturday morning and I'm awake. I'm having an anxiety attack. This happens from time to time when things in life get to be a bit overwhelming. There was a time in life not too many years ago that I would fight off anxiety on a daily basis, but I've been able to keep it at bay fairly well recently.

Last night I dreamed about Blake. I've been doing really well since school began starting to maintain emotional stability throughout most of the week, but I still do have waves of memory and then sadness. In my dream I went to see him at a friends house through an odd turn of events, but neither of us really talked to each other. Although we both wanted to, it just seemed to be too hard. His mom showed up at one point and we started talking about the breakup, and she told me he had said he still loved me but everything was just too hard. I remember thinking it's worth it to fight through it.

Anyways, i woke up this morning obviously thinking about him and in a bit of a depressed mood. Sometimes I miss him so much I physically hurt. The reality that it's over has finally set in, and I've come to grips with the fact that he isn't come back. I suppose that's a big step but not one I've been wanting to face. I hope he's doing well.