through the fog (another serious post by henri james)

i live in a fog. always moving without knowing what direction i'm going in. always searching fervently with angst that the thing i'm waiting for is just out of vision. that the harder i look the sooner it will clear through the thickness and my search will end.

then there are moments where i ask myself, "what was i looking for again?" moments that i feel fine. the fog has lifted and i can see life happen around me. and rather than trying to search, i realize i am already a part of something...and i'm fine. then the moment passes and insanely i continue sifting through the fog for something/nothing. i so quickly forget about the clearing.